Tips to relieve tension

here's the next best thing to do. Fool your body into thinking you're feeling great

* First, we're going to slowly ease that tension out of the body. Sit on a chair with legs crossed. Pretend that your ankle is a pen and use it to write the alphabet. Repeat with the other ankle.

* Next, place your thumbs at the edge of your eyebrows, on each side of our head. Slide them up, stopping at the corner of the head, almost into the hairline. Press the thumbs into each side of the forehead; hold for a few seconds and then release. Repeat five times. By doing this, you release emotional stress because these pressure points a re linked to the emotional centre of the brain.

* Eat an orange. The vitamin C helps detoxify the body. Chewing on a handful of roasted cashew nuts can also be a good upper. Nuts contain magnesium and essential fatty acids that help boost moods.

* Change the breathing. Lie on your back, with the fingertips of one hand nesting between the breastbone and the solar plexus. Place the other hand on the belly. Taking deep breath through your nose push out your stomach as you inhale, thus filling your lungs. Hold for a few seconds and then slowly exhale. As oxygen replenishes your brain, use your fingertips to lightly stimulate the calming areas of your body and you'll feel more relaxed.

* The brain believes in the images it receives. So creative visualisation can quickly top up your happiness levels. Imagine the sun sending heat and light to your arms and legs. Soak in that sensation and feel the joy slowly seeping in.

Four Management Lessons

Lesson Number One

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy. "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson Number Three

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.

All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed.

All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be Boss, any asshole will do!

Lesson Number Four

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard he bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Management Lessons:

1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

POURING [or WASTAGE] OF MILK & OIL

There are so many houses, ashrams.. in which the people have no milk to Drink. They drink the tea without MILK. They never make the Puri, Vada,…. Due to the high rates of OIL.

But on other side, it is observed that in Temple ’s so many peoples pour

1. MILK on Shivling in Shiv mandir.
2. OIL on the Murti of Hanuman and Shani Mandir..

By pouring of this Valuable Foods like Milk, Oil, Madh, Ghee etc.. , it flows DIRECTLY into the Gutter. By wastage of these materials - is GOD going to be Happy ? Will this not be a SIN ?

If this Valuable Foods will be Distributed in the form of “PRASAD” to the to Ashram or Needed [Poor ] People then this articles can in real sense be Treated as Offering to GOD.
Will this not be a VIRTUE ?

By this following purpose will be solved :-

1. ALL THE NEEDE PEOPLE WILL BE BENEFITED FROM THIS
ARTICLES, INSPITE OF WASTING THEM IN GUTTER / DRAIN.

2. YOU WILL SETTING A REAL EXAMPLE OF SERVICE TO
HUMINITY AND GIVE SMILE TO NEEDY PEOPLE & HAVE
THEIR BLESSING ALSO.

Dynamite Speech by a Desi School Master

A Schoolmaster from a remote rural area was transferred to a school in Bombay. He reported for duty two days before August 15 and, as was the practice in the school, was asked to address the assembly on Independence Day.

Here's his dynamite speech :

Leddies and Gentulmens, Contemporaries, Children, "This is my first maiden speech. If small small mistakes get inside my speech, I ask pardon. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the following reason.

Too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket. I put complaint on station master. He said me to go to lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed her for long time and at last with great difficulty she gave a birth only to my son. Anyway I thanked the station master because he was responsible for getting birth of my son.

We got independent because of great leaders linke Gandhiji who get-outted all angrezi peoples from India. Tilak said Swaraj is our birth-rate and we shall halve it. Today we all halve our birth-rate. You children are future dynamic generators of the Nation.

Look into future time only. No backside looking, or looking at your behind. Be like great like X' raj Ranjan of Germany or Presidents like Loosebelt.

You know genius, no? It is one per cent perspiration and ninety seven percent evaporation. They became great by reading great books. After we finish you here in the school, you can go to college and get B.A., M.A. and other decrease. Then you can become great liars in the supreme courts, shattered accountants, or leacherers in college.

The school is like a garden. You are the seeds, school is the soil. We will bury you in this soil, pour water of knowledge on your heads and one day will become great phools.

Many vacancy job come in newspapers. Only yesterday I saw in paper "Wanted for refuted engineering firm: Generators, highpower condensors" so and so forth, etc. These jobs may be teknickel, but you can rise. If you have flare in English, you can become teacher.

I am now ending this fastly. My God blast you! Thank you and thank God I am finished. Joy Hind!"

The Power of the Clock

Today, well actually yesterday now, was “turn back your clock an hour day.” Daylight savings, what a wonderful thing. Apparently “turn back your clock an hour day” was actually supposed to be last week, but to be more environmentally friendly, this wonderful event was changed to the past day.

Imagine, though, what would happen if everyone boycotted “turn back your clock and hour day.” Or even arbitrarily changed it to “turn forward your clock 2.354 hours day.” Just think of the temporal turmoil that everyone would be in. Life as we now know it would cease to exist. Who knows, it could be a good thing. Think about it!